childofares (childofares) wrote in snarkypagans,

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All I wanted was some sage

So I went to my local pagan shop topick up some sage. They have decent stock and all in all it's a pretty neat store with interesting stock. Little did I know it was oppression day at the Mystic Goddess. After the bell tinkled and I entered I was immediately stared at with half suspicious looks from a few girls with boxes of what looked like T-shirts or cloaks. I gave Mike, (the owner) a friendly hello and noticing his fixed polite-but-not-really-meaning-it expression, scurried over to his shelves of herbs and such. While browsing one of the girls came over and in a belligerent tone asked me "You are Wiccan right?"

After blinking I responded that "no I wasn't but I believe Mike the owner and his wife are Gardnerians"

After heaving a huge disbelieving sigh she decided to enlighten me about how the owner wouldn't agree to stock their shirts that promote people taking offense at the "wiccans who were burned"

To be perfectly honest I thought perhaps the girl was joking and had a fabulous wit and let out a chuckle of appreciation for what I believed was a joke.

She wasn't joking. She was serious. Completely. Not wanting to engage in some batshit insane conversation with the twit I mumbled something about candles and hightailed it away from her. Not long after I hear Mike start yelling at the girls. I now love him for saying this

"Are you F-ing serious? You want me to tell people they should buy your Wiccan burning shirts, probably based on your own personal past life experience, when F-ing Wicca wasn't a religion until the 40's? Get the hell out of my store and hit up Hot Topic since you obviously can't even read a book you ignorant little ingrates"

I love pagan shops with snarky owners. Just to be kind I bought more things than I needed. He looked ready to kill someone so I tried to point out the obvious that perhaps he should convert to hellenism like me where it would be justified to kick their asses.
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